Fine Line

Being a Woman of color, over weight, with curly hair, wearing glasses, barely-there social life, and often eccentric thinking, I have been looked at with those scrutinizing pair of eyes far too much that I recognize it before the offender does. Yeah, we tend to offend others without even realizing it. But I have been in the receiving end far too long.

Gender wise, I am a straight woman. But because of how I think and how I carry myself, I have been mistaken for a lesbian. The male rendition of a lesbian, more specifically. So I tried to change my image. I changed how I dress and speak, but my line of thinking remains the same. With that, I was asked if I was a bisexual, twice from different circles of acquaintances.

I was quick to deny it.

Without thinking that I might have offended those who are lesbians and bisexual, my quick denial was simply due to my resent on how we can't help but judge each other by what we see. We put labels on them and therefore create a stereotype.

With that stereotype falls everything else. In my old office, I have been labeled by my supervisor as "INEXPERIENCED", which lead him to believe that if I have not experienced IT, then I would not be able to understand certain issues that I am very much involved in. My experiences with anything sexual in nature is my only teacher. That is his belief of me. But he has no proof, and he has no idea. He just constantly told me of how I would fail to understand because of my suspected inexperience.

One time, I was in the grocery store and a sales person was offering me baby diapers. Because of how I looked, chubby with my tshirt and shorts, I have been mistaken for a mother with lots of kids.

Do I look like I'm gay? Should I be treated differently because of how I looked? Do I have a third eye blinking on my forehead that allows me to stand out from everyone else?

We are always so judgmental that the fine line between respect and business is blurred.